


Scarred heart

by Arcanamazer_27



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bilbo Remains In Erebor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Consort Bilbo Baggins, Courtly Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Constipated Thorin, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Bilbo Baggins, Loyalty, M/M, Prose Poem, Romantic Fluff, Thorin is a Softie, Top Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24193645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcanamazer_27/pseuds/Arcanamazer_27
Summary: Bilbo felt a pain inside his heart and Thorin comforted him.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Kudos: 42





	Scarred heart

After his courting ceremony with Thorin, Bilbo thought that he should be happy by now. Had his love, Thorin, back to him again and the ceremony was supposed to be an eternal sign of their love with each other and their promise that they belong to each other. Somehow and somewhere, he couldn't feel the happiness inside his heart.

He kept thinking when Thorin was mad at him and sentenced him into exile. He was so brokenhearted by then. The luck of having the one you love the most in the Middle Earth, and now they turned their back on you. It was the saddest thing that ever happened to Bilbo. He never thought that the dragon sickness has overthrown him away from the throne of his heart. The throne who always belonged to him, always and forever.

He knew that he loved Thorin more than anything in Middle Earth and he knew that the dragon sickness drove him mad like his grandfather that Balin has told him. The feeling inside his heart. The feeling of betrayal and overflowed grief was scarred in his heart. He does not know how to heal it. In fact, he could not.

Bilbo thought, 'I felt so much grief. Why could I be happy about now?'

After his bath in a few hours ago, Bilbo kept sitting on the right side of their bed in their royal chamber with waiting for Thorin. He felt the scar in his heart has lied still at the wall of his heart. The heart who supposed to feel the peace, love, and joy like the other hobbits was now filled with the huge scar of grief and betrayal. He knew that he couldn't lie to Thorin about this. In fact, he should let him know how he felt when his One sentenced him to exile.

Tears flew down from his eyes as he kept thinking about how Thorin did to him when he was still in his dragon sickness. He suffered from this feeling. He was supposed to believe Thorin that he was changed. A dwarf king that he always knew. Somehow, he could not easily believe it and think that Thorin was the one who betrayed his heart. He kept crying in silence as the two-sided feelings inside his heart had battled with each other, much more than the battle of five armies.

'Please, this is so much hurtful..'

His pain grew more as his feelings were in the war inside his heart. He did not know if he supposed to talk about this to Thorin or just kept it secret until he was ready to talk. His tears flew hardly through his cheeks. His pain was growing even bigger than before. 

Bilbo let his tears and feelings overflow in silence until his hobbit's ears heard the sound of the opened door. He knew the sound of those steps. It was Thorin. He heard him closed the door and walked towards him.

"Sorry, I am late, ghivashel. I have to talk with Balin about the plan for the meeting tomorrow," said Thorin who approached his halfling and later shocked that he saw the tears that flew through his cheeks.

He slowly cupped his One's cheeks and wiped his tears with his fingers. Bilbo winced as his cheeks were cupped by his One and his right hand slowly touched the big palm that touched his cheek. Thorin panicked, "Bilbo, what's wrong? Is there someone who hurt you?"

Bilbo shook his head slowly. Thorin was even more panicked when Bilbo did not talk to him and only shook his head. He breathed heavily and calmly said, "Bilbo, you can tell me anything. I am here now,"

Bilbo breathed and spoke with a hoarse voice, "Thorin, do you still love me?"

Thorin confused with his question. He replied, "Of course I do. I love you more than anything in Middle Earth,"

Bilbo slightly breathed again and began to tell him about the feelings, "I.. I am hurt, Thorin. I don't know how or why but it is so much pain inside after you sentenced me to the exile. I don't know if I could believe that you changed and love me as you used to when before you were having this dragon sickness. I... I thought that I could forget about it for now but I can't. I still remembered and I don't think that my heart would be heal from this pain. I am really sorry, Thorin, I love you but I don't know if I could not forget about what have you been doing to me when you were not in your mind. My heart is in pain and I don't know how to get rid of it from my heart,"

Bilbo cried loudly in the front of Thorin and covered his face with both hands. Not far from Bilbo, Thorin felt very guilty for accidentally scarring his One's heart. He knew that he wasn't in his right mind when he felt the dragon sickness that drove him mad. He never expected that he had accidentally scarred his heart for life. His hands were slowly reached Bilbo's hands on his face and carefully pulled it from the face. His blue eyes saw the hazel eyes who held so much pain inside it.

Thorin sighed and said, "Bilbo, I am really sorry for sentencing you to the exile back there. I don't know that you are in so much pain inside your heart right now. 

... Right now, I just want you to know that I really love you and I have already changed. I would do anything for you...

... I love you more than the Arkenstone and nothing else would ever replace you rule in the throne of my heart...

... You are the brightest sunrise that I had ever seen in the morning...

... You are the first blooming flower that I had seen around the lonely mountain...

... You are the most beautiful star that I have ever seen in the night sky... 

... You are the most precious Arkenstone that I have ever possessed...

... You are more important than the hoarded golds, emeralds, rubies, sapphires, and even the king's jewel itself...

... You are the greatest gift that Aule has ever given to me...

... For that, I am so glad to earn you, adore you, and love you... 

...You are my everything, Bilbo, and you know that... 

... I know that you need a long time to completely believe in me and that's okay...

...Take your time...

... I would wait for you...

... Call me if you need me... 

...If you ever need to talk, I will be your ears...

...If you need solace, I will be your comfort...

... If you need some love, I will give you more... 

...I would give you anything you want...

...You are my greatest treasure in Erebor and I swear to you if you die in my arms, I would die too...

... You are the only one who inherited the throne of my heart...

... My love for you would never change... 

...Everything's for you, my dear Bilbo...

... My love... My heart...My ghivashel... My One... 

As he finished telling everything inside his heart, Thorin lifted Bilbo's right hand and kissed it gently. He had already loved him and loyal to his One. Dwarves only loved once in their lifetime and the dwarf king finally found one. One who loved him and cared for him much more than anyone else. He knew that Bilbo would not betray him. He knew that his halfling would return to him and save him from Azog. He loved him so much and nothing could ever replace that. He assured that.

Bilbo's face froze when he heard the long words from his king. His heart was touched upon every word that he had said. It was like a healing rhythm in his heart. It was like the flowing honey and water that covered the scar in his heart. He pulled out his smile when Thorin had already finished his words. He pushed himself to get closer to him until there were no inches left to separate them. He put his head on his dwarf's chest and lunged his arms around his waist. He hugged him tightly as he buried his face on his chest. Thorin smiled and lunged the arms on the touched hobbit.

"I never wanted anything other than you, Thorin... You love me and that's enough for me. I just want your attention, love, support, and trust. We hobbits never craved for the hoarded golds and gems. We are loyal to those who loved us all the same. Just like I loyal to you. Thank you for changing my life, Thorin. I owe you for that," replied Bilbo who nuzzled his dwarf's chest.

"You don't need to owe me anything, Bilbo. Your love is enough for me. Right now, I would do anything for making you smile in every moment of our lifetime," replied Thorin who rubbed gently the halfling's back.

Bilbo sighed and murmured, "Thank you, Thorin. I love you so much,"

Thorin smiled gently at his One who had nuzzled his chest, "I love you more than anything, my burglar,"

The two of them hugged each other around the dimmed lights in their chamber. Bilbo smiled. He knew now that he would always trust Thorin for everything. Thorin knew that he promised to always make Bilbo safe and happy. Although the scar inside his heart would still remain as long as Bilbo lived, he did not care. He only loved and cared for Thorin. His dwarf king. His love. Now, he believed that there would be a great future ahead for him and his One.


End file.
